*************************************************************************
Tiny Tears
I’m sailing on sea on blue, faded,
lost, numb, and broken. I looked to
shore and saw it wasn’t far, but understood it was well out of my reach. I saw her as she stood on the white shore
line looking for me. Her blonde hair danced
in the cool wind. Her chroma key eyes glittered
in the sunlight. I saw her elegant face,
the smoothness of her skin, the softness of her hair. I heard the gentleness of her voice when she
used to lie next to me and whisper in my ear.
She was right there, yet so far away.
In my dreams there had been a place for me and her. Tears slipped from her eyes and they sparkled
in the sunlight, driving a dagger into my heart and bleeding moonlight.
I took a
paddle and started rowing. Left and
right, left then right. The water was
calm and peaceful, but another tear fell from her eye and the water stirred and
pushed me back. I rowed faster, harder,
but as more tears sparkled in the sunlight like diamonds, the harsher the water
became. I’m not an ordinary man. I want to be with her. I want to feel her smooth skin. I want to look at the scar beside her left
eyebrow she got from a curling iron. I
want her to smile at me like she used to.
I longed for her to say she loved me as if I was the only one for her. All I ever wanted to say was how much I loved
her, how I wanted to be the man that could always be there for her, but I
couldn’t bring myself to. The water turned
gray and the sky banked with dark clouds.
The water turned to muck, becoming thick, murky, cold, and unforgiving.
Left then right left and
right.
I’m only pushed away so I cried out
for her. I called her name. I told her I love her. I told her in my dreams all her hopes and
cares could be recognized through the tiny tears. I shouted for her to come with me, be my one
and only, be the person I should have expressed my love to. But she didn’t hear me for I was simply too
far and she turned away. Life doesn’t go
the way we intend it to, but we get all that we deserve. The value of something precious cannot be
truly recognized until it’s gone. I
can’t believe I’m just an ordinary man.
I have my own problems, I have my own struggles. Doesn’t every man have a mountain to climb?
I didn’t want to let her go but I pushed myself away and I’m left without
the ability to say what I wanted to say.
I’m left without my ability to show, to express, to gesture. Left without the ability to touch her body,
hold her hand and feel her soft face as I moved in for that electrifying
kiss. I’m left with nothing.
I’m twenty-three years old and I’m
a million miles away.
© Jacob G. Adams
No comments:
Post a Comment